Drops Of Jupiter
by Laura Schiller
Summary: Based on the song by Train. Kes comes back, and she's had a revelation.


**Drops Of Jupiter **  
**Songwriters:** Hotchkiss, Robert S; Monahan, Pat; Stafford, James W; Underwood, Scott Michael; Colin, Charlie

**Character copyright: **Paramount Pictures

Now that she's back in the atmosphere  
with drops of Jupiter in her hair,  
she acts like summer and walks like rain,  
reminds me that there's time to change.  
Since the return from her stay on the moon,  
she listens like spring and she talks like June.

Kes arrived with her customary simplicity, wearing the same cherry-red jumpsuit she had worn when she de-materialized in front of Captain Janeway's eyes. When a restless Tom Paris crept into the mess hall for some coffee, he found her sitting quietly at one of the metal tables in the mess hall, sipping replicated tea as if she'd never been away. Her soft curls glinted in the light, golden as fresh butter. Her voice was as low and musical as ever.

"Good morning," she said.

Tom's sight began to blur, and the next thing he noticed was lying on the cold carpeting with a thumping headache, Kes's cool hand on his forehead, and her worried face looking down at him.

But tell me – did you sail across the sun?  
Did you make it to the Milky Way  
to see the lights all faded  
and that heaven is overrated?

"Is it really you?" he asked.

She helped him sit up, ordered a second cup of tea, and let it float into his hands by telekinesis without spilling a drop.

"Who else?" she asked, smiling.

As soon as Tom had recovered from his shock, he had a torrent of questions to ask: "Where have you been? Did you learn to control your powers? Are you coming back to stay?" He did not ask if she had missed him, or Neelix, or if she had fallen in love with someone else.

Tell me – did you fall for a shooting star?  
One without a permanent scar?  
And did you miss me while you were  
looking for yourself out there?

"I've been to the Alpha Quadrant," Kes related, her blue eyes glowing like two moons. "Your home, Tom. Oh, it was beautiful … I saw Vulcan, like a drop of orange lava burning in space, the temples of Qonos with their spires in the air, Earth's solar system … I can't explain how beautiful it was."

Her face was rapt as she spoke, the face of a prophetess or an angel. He could almost see the stars she spoke of in her eyes.

_Why did you come back?_ He almost asked. _If you've been seeing wonders beyond imagination, why are you sitting here with a glass of run-of-the-mill, replicated chamomile tea?_

Perhaps she read his mind, or perhaps she guessed from his expression. One could never tell with Kes.

"I've been so alone," she said, her thin shoulders slumping as she leaned into her seat. "I haven't had a word from a living being in five years."

And with that, she rubbed her eyes with one hand and sighed – an angel no more, just a small Ocampa woman returning home.

_Five years? _He thought. _But it's only been three days since she left … and why hasn't she aged?_

Now that she's back from that soul vacation  
tracin' her way through the constellation,  
she checks out Mozart while she does Tae-Bo:  
reminds me that there's room to grow.

The ship's morning came eventually. There was an uproar, of course. Neelix burst into tears and squeezed the breath out of his ex-girlfriend with a welcome-back hug. The Doctor scanned her from top to toe and was mystified by the changes in her brain. Tuvok was not convinced she was the real Kes until he'd performed a mind-meld on her. Captain Janeway solemnly returned her quarters, commbadge and personal belongings with distinctly wet eyes.

As for the plants in the aeroponics bay, they rioted with blossoms, vines and fruit as they never had before.

Now that she's back in the atmosphere  
I'm afraid that she might think of me as -  
Plain ol' Jane told a story 'bout a man  
who was too afraid to fly, so he never did land.

Tom watched her out of the corner of his eye as he sat in the mess hall. He listened with one ear to Harry and B'Elanna's banter, punctuated with dry remarks from Vorik, B'Elanna's Vulcan boyfriend. Those two had to be the oddest couple on Voyager – the proverbial fire and ice – and the circumstances of their getting together were a mystery, but B'Elanna seemed quite happy, and Tom was by now comfortably resigned to being "just friends". Besides, if anyone could help her control her outbreaks of temper, it would be a Vulcan.

All the more reason to be nervous when Kes stopped by his table, smiled, and asked: "Can we talk? Alone?"

Once more, he wondered what she saw in his company – any average mortal's, in fact. Didn't she care that she was special – a goddess, practically? Why did she insist on being treated like any other crewmember?

But tell me – did the wind sweep you off your feet?  
Did you finally get the chance  
to dance along the light of day  
and head back to the Milky Way?

"You know what I missed the most about _Voyager_?" Kes asked as they moved to a different table, absently stirring her leola root soup. Neelix watched them with a narrow eye from behind his counter, but did not interfere; his jealousy had already lost him Kes as a lover, but he was not about to lose her as a friend.

"What?" asked Tom.

"Flying lessons,"

She grinned at him, and it took a while for him to fully grasp what she'd said. After slipping into an alternate reality, finding the power to move molecules and make the entire ship ripple like melting ice cream, she missed her flying lessons on the holodeck. In an antiquated Class One shuttle.

Flying lessons with Tom.

And tell me – did Venus blow your mind?  
Was it everything you wanted to find  
and did you miss me while you were  
looking for yourself out there?

"Neelix would never have let me do anything dangerous," she murmured, glancing over her shoulder to make sure he didn't hear. "Or if he had, he would have looked over my shoulder the whole time. You, Tom … you've always treated me with respect. You're a wonderful person … it's funny, the things being alone with the stars can make you realize."

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken?  
No best friend, always stickin' up for you …  
even when I know you're wrong?  
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze-dried romance,  
five-hour phone conversation,  
the best soy latte that you ever had –

and me?

"Since I've come back, every moment is a miracle to me. A cup of coffee … the white sheets on my bed … even Neelix's spices. Mind-melding with Tuvok, working in Sickbay with the Doctor, looking after my plants. And you … "

Kes's blue eyes had grown very soft.

"Remember the time we negotiated an entire asteroid field? You were so happy afterward, you made your chair spin around and around. Do you remember how you used to touch my hand when I was about to push the wrong buttons? Or when I finished my first docking maneuver, and you almost hugged me? I've always wondered … why didn't you?"

But tell me – did the wind sweep you off your feet?  
Did you finally get the chance  
to dance along the light of day  
and head back to the Milky Way?

"I'd have thought it was obvious," said Tom, with a cavalier shrug that fooled neither of them. "You were with Neelix."

"So you do care for me."

"Guilty as charged." He spread his hands and leaned back in his seat, unable to meet her eyes. Where was all this leading? Was she really … ?

"I've always been … drawn to you." It was Kes's turn to confess. "But I loved Neelix … or I thought I did … and after that, there was Lieutenant Torres. Is it true about her and … ?"

She glanced toward the other table, were B'Elanna and Vorik were having an intense engineering debate. Tom nodded.

But tell me – did you sail across the sun?  
Did you make it to the Milky Way  
to see the lights all faded  
and that heaven is overrated?

"As a little girl, I longed to go to our planet's surface," said Kes. "To see the blue sky, feel the wind on my face. I've done just that – I've gone where no Ocampa has gone before, all across the Milky Way and into the heart of the atom. I've even learned to control my lifespan – I could live for decades if I wanted. But it all means nothing – nothing – without someone to share it with.

"You are my blue sky, Tom."

Tell me – did you fall for a shooting star?  
One without a permanent scar?  
And did you miss me while you were  
looking for yourself out there?

"That's a pretty tall order," he said hoarsely, "For one ex-convict flyboy to fill. But Kes, I think I've loved you from the moment I met you – there were other girls, yeah, but none I could see myself sharing a life with."

Kes wore a knowing, mysterious smile. She had not yet told him about the other life she had lived, traveling backwards from old age to infancy and back again. She had memories of life as Tom's beloved wife, mother of his daughter. Some of the happiest, most precious moments she had ever known.

It would not be the same, of course. But Kes was a woman of faith, and her faith told her that loving Tom would be most magnificent journey of her life.

And did you finally get the chance  
to dance along the light of day?  
And did you fall for a shooting star?  
And are you lonely looking for yourself out there?


End file.
